Word of God speak.....

(disclaimer: I use this blog to journal my life and our family life so that one day our kids can look back and have stories with the pictures. Some may feel this is too much information but I want my kids to know my testimony and follow my journey. I want them to know that life is not always easy but when you trust in God He will carry you through. I love that other people read and I hope His words through me help even just one person.)This past week has been so profound for me. I have definitly been in a slump since the move in September. I am so thankful for God and His provisions and from the beginning I have KNOWN that this move was by His hand. However, that has not made it easy on my heart! Florida was such a life changer for us and having to leave that behind has been really hard on me. I have fears that sometimes can physically consume me. It may sound silly to some people and I definitly don't want it to offend anyone but being back in Memphis was never in "my plan". I hope that our friends and family can hear my heart on this because it's not that I am not thankful for the relationships we have here. I love everyone that God has placed in my life and I wouldn't be the person I am today if it weren't for so many of these relationships. Florida became a very comfortable place for me (which could be a big part of the reason I was plucked from it, hahaha). For the first time in my life I felt like I could just be me. The me that God made! I didn't feel the need to put on a show, be someone I wasn't, have lots of things or anything else like that. The devil definitly knows my weak spots and has attacked me a lot since being back. I become so insecure in who I am that I shut down, get lost for words or say things that are not me at all. I also just miss my friends. I had so many amazing women around me and I really learned how to trust again. I learned the freedom that can come from being vulnerable and the peace that can come from relying on other christians to lift me up and support me. I know there are people like that all over but this was my family. This was where I was "born again" and now I am like a kid being pushed out into an unknown world. My week began at a very low place. Over and over the Lord has put on my heart "seek and you will find" (it was even in my fortune cookie). The most powerful way to arm yourself is with the Word. The Bible! Reading the Bible is like preparing yourself and arming yourself for battle. I noticed I had stopped reading. I was still praying and praising and doing devotionals but I wasn't reading God's letter to me. Picking back up with these readings has really calmed me and has taken me on an amazing journey. Everything I read seems to come in to play at another time during the week. God is speaking to my heart in very real ways and it brings me such peace. From the beginning of this journey back to TN God has used Jeremiah 29:11 at the most profound times. I should probably tattoo it to my forehead. Today was no different. Chris Conlee's sermon on the potter brought my week full circle. I am the clay and sometimes God has make me uncomfortable while He reshapes me and molds me into His final masterpiece. Being in the fire is a hard place to be but He knows His plans for me and promises in Jeremiah 29:11 that His plans are NOT for harm or evil. I loved hearing that from Him AGAIN this morning. My mom sent me this quote about friendships this week: “In friendship...we think we have chosen our peers. In reality a few years' difference in the dates of our births, a few more miles between certain houses, the choice of one university instead of another...the accident of a topic being raised or not raised at a first meeting--any of these chances might have kept us apart. But, for a Christian, there are, strictly speaking no chances. A secret master of ceremonies has been at work. Christ, who said to the disciples, "Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you," can truly say to every group of Christian friends, "Ye have not chosen one another but I have chosen you for one another." The friendship is not a reward for our discriminating and good taste in finding one another out. It is the instrument by which God reveals to each of us the beauties of others.” ― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves I know that is true for our time in Florida and now I see more than ever why we are being replanted. I look forward to fertilizing my old friendships and to beginning new friendships with believers and non-believers. I'm ready to share His glory through the story He has given me. "Word of God speak Would You pour down like rain Washing my eyes to see Your majesty To be still and know That You're in this place Please let me stay and rest In Your holiness Word of God speak ~Mercy Me"